We have a new one on the way in two weeks. What are some good things for us to do that can help diminish any jealousy our three-year-old might feel during these first few months?

asked 04 May '11, 19:04

blue's gravatar image

accept rate: 26%

Include her in taking care of the newborn.

Set aside special time with daddy while mommy and baby rest.

Have baby "give a gift" to big brother or big sister when they first meet at the hospital.


answered 04 May '11, 21:37

mkcoehoorn's gravatar image

accept rate: 8%

Those are all great ideas and some of the things that helped our daughter adjust to having a little sister.

(05 May '11, 13:48) Tammy ♦♦

If at all possible make some Mummy time for the elder one too. It may be difficult or impossible in the early days, but as soon as it's possible it's worth it. They aren't stupid and they do notice that they're missing out on Mummy time even if you provide Daddy and/or Grandparent time in abundance.


answered 07 May '11, 11:44

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Meg Stephenson
accept rate: 7%

In addition to what mkcoehoorn suggested. We really played up the big sister role, an how important it is and how much it means she is a big girl. Our daughter really responded to this, she just wants to be a "big girl" at this age. Now that her baby sister is almost 5 months, we will point out when the little one looks at her big sister or responds to her, and our oldest daughter loves this and will talk to her and do different things to get a response.


answered 05 May '11, 13:51

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Tammy ♦♦
accept rate: 18%

A word of warning about the "Big sister" thing. We did this with our eldest and she really resents being expected to be the sensible one. She frequently argues that she wants to be the baby again (she's nine now, but this has been going on since she had her first younger sibling before she was two).

(07 May '11, 11:42) Meg Stephenson

I guess all children are different. Our daughter is very shy and reserve and the idea of having a younger sibling that looks up to her and watches her has really helped her come out of her shell. Of course I agree special individual attention from mommy and daddy is definately important.

(10 May '11, 13:18) Tammy ♦♦
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Asked: 04 May '11, 19:04

Seen: 4,475 times

Last updated: 10 May '11, 13:18