My sister in law asked me this question today and is looking for any advice:

Her nearly 4 year old daughter has developed the bad habit of constantly playing with herself or her "Suzie" as my sister in law calls it. She does not want her daughter to feel ashamed of what she is doing, so she tells her that when she wants to touch her "Suzie", she needs to do it in private as those are her private parts. Her daughter understands what she is being told, but she says she doesn't know why she does it. It seems to becoming an unconscious habit that she just does without recognizing that she is doing it. My sister in law is concerned as she is starting Kindergarten in a week and is worried that she'll continue to do this in public in front of teachers and peers and it might cause her issues in school.

Any advice on how to get her to recognize her behavior and stop it in public without upsetting her?

asked 28 Aug '11, 20:03

Shannon%20B's gravatar image

Shannon B
accept rate: 9%

Oooysh, This is a fun one isn't it. Well, first, she's going to have to at least make sure that her daughter knows that the real name for her "Suzie" is her vulva, 'cause that's what her teacher is going to call it if she does that at school.

And it won't be the first time her teacher has had to do that, not even the first time that week, it's a really common comfort behaviour for little kids. More little boys won't get their hands out of their pants than little girls in my experience, but then I have a lot more experience with little boys and I would think that, wouldn't I?

Second, get the child jeans (worked for us). Way harder to get your hands down the front of a pair of jeans or jean shorts (past a zipper and a button) than leggings or sweat pants and cute little skirts are just wayyy to convenient. If that doesn't work, buy the child a belt. If you make it difficult to reach her vulva, she can't do it unconsciously and she's less likely to do it in public. (If she's touching herself through her clothes, don't worry about it, watch a bunch of 4 year olds for a couple of hours and 90% of them have rubbed their penis or vulva at some point. It feels nice, it's comforting and they're 4. It's just life.)

Tell her good luck, it's just a comfort-thing/habit, and her daughter is probably feeling a little insecure about starting school so she's probably turning to it way more often.


answered 29 Aug '11, 00:33

Neen's gravatar image

accept rate: 30%

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Asked: 28 Aug '11, 20:03

Seen: 3,059 times

Last updated: 29 Aug '11, 00:33