My 14-year-old came to me this morning and said that there are three men sexually harassing her online.

Let me explain what's happening. My daughter made an account on an instant-messaging site for her and her friends. Her page says that she is 14 years old, and she also has a picture of herself. She's been OK for about a few days, but little did we know that she would have men in their late 30s and 40s, and even 50s trying to contact her.

At first, she thought that these guys just wanted to chat, but then they started asking personal questions about her bra size and if she shaves her privates, if she has a boyfriend, has she ever done anything with a boy, etc.

Later, they started sending pictures of themselves naked as well as some disgusting pictures/videos of preteens & babies being raped. (These guys are actually teaming up together to harass my child!)

And now they're asking for our phone number & address. One of them actually gave us his telephone number. I called it about an hour ago to see if we could resolve the issue (I was actually trying to be nice despite his intentions). This turned out to be a huge mistake because he kept calling back saying that he wants to talk to my daughter and somehow he's used our number to trace it back to where we live. (He called and recited our address, city + zip code and said that he was driving over there soon. I think he was on drugs when he said that, so I'm more worried.)

I've called the police and everything, they're going to guard the house until he comes, if he doesn't, they'll find him. I just learned that he is also a convicted sex offender. Even though I know the cops are here, I'm still scared because he's given our telephone number & address to some other perverts. Have you ever been into a situation like this? Even though this happened from our computer, it's still very dangerous. How do you deal with the emotional stress and the fear over this? I feel so guilty that since these kinds of people are coming into our neighborhood that might victimize someone else that's walking around or driving home. The rest of the neighborhood doesn't know about this yet, I still see children playing outside.

asked 20 Sep '12, 16:30

Marie's gravatar image

accept rate: 0%

edited 25 Sep '12, 11:17

Tammy's gravatar image

Tammy ♦♦


I think you did the right thing to phone the police.

(20 Sep '12, 19:37) Scott ♦♦

You were right to call in the police, and they are the ones you should address your concerns to. They will know what other steps you can take to make your family and neighbors safe. I would suggest you also talk to the parents of her friends so that they are aware of the danger.

Once this is all done, I would contact my phone company to have the number changed so that if he did share it, the number would be invalid.

Next, you need to talk with your daughter about internet safety. It sounds like she did the right thing here and she needs to hear it from you. It might be necessary for her to delete her account from that website and not use it again.

In the future, when someone is sexually harassing your daughter, do not call any phone number they provide. Take any information they give you, phone numbers, photos, etc, and go straight to the police. With the use of cell phones and caller id, you gave the guy your phone number when you tried to call him and it is not hard to do a reverse look up to find an address from that. Criminals may be stupid, but that doesn't mean they are not clever and will use what ever resource is available to them.

Learn from this experience. See what worked and what did not. And then decide what can be done differently in the future.


answered 21 Sep '12, 11:32

mkcoehoorn's gravatar image

accept rate: 8%

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Asked: 20 Sep '12, 16:30

Seen: 2,740 times

Last updated: 25 Sep '12, 11:17