My 7-year old is quite cautious and aware of safety-related concerns. He has two younger siblings, so he sees us constantly on the lookout for hazards. Plus he's just made that way.

The problem arises when for whatever reason he has to do something that he perceives as unsafe or if he's in any way hurt by something he thought was reckless or dangerous. For instance, riding in the cab of a pickup truck, getting poked by a toy or whatever.

Doesn't matter if it's really safe or not, or whether anyone was really reckless. He jumps right to 9.9 on the Richter scale of fear and anger.

It's not that he acts out in uncontrollable ways so much as I can see that he's in extreme emotional distress. I'd like some help bringing him back down to earth.

Who has the magic answer?

asked 20 Oct '09, 16:07

brj's gravatar image

accept rate: 0%

Our daughter is also on the anxious side. We try to expose her to as many things as possible and don't stop doing things or avoid things because we expect her to initially be a little fearful. The best way to battle fears is to face them. It is also helpful to be a good model. Show her that there is nothing to be afraid of. I also found a good online resource with tips on parenting an anxious child.


answered 20 Oct '09, 20:09

Tammy's gravatar image

Tammy ♦♦
accept rate: 18%

In my experience, some important points to ask would be;

  • Has he always been like this?
  • Did the symptoms develop or worsen after the younger siblings came along?
  • Does he have any issues at school that have escalated his feelings.

Is there a counciler at his school that you could discuss these things with. It seems to me that something has triggered these emotions in him, and he is just trying to be responsible.

Do you or your partner have similar characteristics, you say that he's "made that way" so perhaps trying to understand when things became harder for him will help you to undo or work at resolving his sensitivity.

I am not sure whether this has been helpful but maybe asking yourselves about the points I mentioned and involving the school may be a good step forward.


answered 20 Oct '09, 19:56

Emi's gravatar image

accept rate: 19%

edited 20 Oct '09, 20:01

Tammy's gravatar image

Tammy ♦♦

This was me until far too old. I grew out of it, but I was often terrified at the smallest things. If I was pushed, I would just recoil more.

I can't offer much help because my parents got tired of fighting me and began to back off quickly for the sake of peace. I'm sure there's a far wiser solution out there but I don't know it. Sorry for not having a good answer, but I wanted to chime in to reassure you that even with the wrong handling (like mine) he'll probably still grow out it.


answered 20 Oct '09, 16:25

Dinah's gravatar image

accept rate: 15%

edited 20 Oct '09, 18:19

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Asked: 20 Oct '09, 16:07

Seen: 4,997 times

Last updated: 20 Oct '09, 20:09