My toddler is 21 months old and still comes in the bathroom when I am using it. I haven't really thought about it until recently when he comes in and just stares at me when I am going to the bathroom. Is there a certain age when I should just start closing the door and not allowing him in at all when I go to the bathroom? What have other people done?

asked 22 Oct '09, 05:11

Melissa%201's gravatar image

Melissa 1
accept rate: 15%

In our family we are generally very open, and don't have a problem with children (now 7, 5 and 2) seeing Mummy or Daddy naked. I think it depends more on how you like someone watching you doing your business!

As they got older it did get more uncomfortable, probably around the point when the child talked fluently enough to ask those awkward questions I didn't want to answer right now in the middle of this, but closing the door on the child with no other adults in the house has been known to lead to much shouting, which doesn't help the "bathroom relaxation".

Why not try closing the door one time and see how it goes?


answered 22 Oct '09, 07:20

Paul%20Stephenson's gravatar image

Paul Stephenson
accept rate: 4%

Does your little boy use a potty yet?

I think to help develop a little sense of bathroom privacy I would first try the opposite and leave him alone on his potty for short periods of time.

I always noticed that around 16 months my daughter would go and find a corner away from us, where she would crouch down, the look on her face told me what she was up too. I am not sure if that is a normal occurance or if other parents have experienced it too, but for me this showed signs of "wanting privacy" while pooing.

We placed our potty in the bathroom and as I mentioned above, I would leave her for short periods and go back and fourth, asking Are you doing ok? Are you finished? Call mummy when you finish, ok? She would happily sit alone and looking at one of her books, and when she finished she would call.

So if one parent was home, the other parent would have total privacy in the bathroom, if there was only one of us home, we would ask her to play just near by and we would keep the door ajar. She didn't just stop coming in, but it just got less and less.

We taught her to knock, it was fun, we would knock on the door of the bathroom and she would love answering back to us, and learnt to knock too before walking in.

I think this is one of those things that has no real right way or right age but many possible ways and ages I think its about how you feel and how you would like it to be without having a negative effect on your child.


answered 22 Oct '09, 09:07

Emi's gravatar image

accept rate: 19%

edited 22 Oct '09, 09:13

My 2 1/2 year old boy does the same thing. He's not potty trained yet so I don't want to kick him out. I think they are just curious and want to see what's going on. If he comes in and I'm on my period I will kick him out by having him go find something for me. He's too young to see any of that.


answered 23 Oct '09, 14:11

Mommy%20trial%20and%20error's gravatar image

Mommy trial and error
accept rate: 4%

I think at this age, you want to encourage any interest in what goes on in the bathroom. Very soon you're going to get pretty antsy about wanting your kid toilet trained, and for that to work, they need to be interested and also aware of what goes on in the bathroom. It's fine to also discuss privacy, that'll be important one day, too, but I would leave that as mere discussion for now and encourage interest in bathroom activities. It may lead to them more quickly wanting to do themselves what they see their parents doing.


answered 23 Oct '09, 18:02

lgritz's gravatar image

accept rate: 14%

Nudity and modesty can run the gamut and still be healthy. It's really up to you.

Paul Stephenson goes further than I'd be comfortable with but he's definitely not alone nor is he at the extreme. My sister is the extreme in the other direction and it works for their family. She would not let my mom bathe with her girls without a bathing suit when the girls were still infants. She also will not change the infant boy in front of his 2 and 4 yr old sisters.


answered 23 Oct '09, 14:23

Dinah's gravatar image

accept rate: 15%

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Asked: 22 Oct '09, 05:11

Seen: 4,512 times

Last updated: 23 Oct '09, 18:02