I am having a problem with my 8 yr old. She makes up stuff and lies alot, the weird thing is she does it about lots of little stuff and big stuff as well. We have punished, we have talked about it till we are blue in the face, and yet she still does it.
My question is; Is this a "Normal" 8 yr old thing, and do you have any advice for me?
In my experience, its a "normal" 8yr old thing. All children are different obviously and the age range will vary a little but in my personal experience that's about the right age for the behavior you're describing.
You didn't give any specific examples so its hard to give you specific (possible) answers...
In general, the key is to stay calm, stay firm, and stay consistent.
Little white lies are the same as medium lies are the same as big lies. I've never been a fan of (within reason) exceptions to the rule as it undermines authority.
Adults do this too... get pulled over for speeding... cry... get off with a warning. What happens next time you get pulled over? Cry again... worked last time, right?
Kids are VERY observant. I actually got pulled over once (daughter in car) and took the ticket square on the chin because the officer asked, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" and "Do you know how fast you were going?" I did, and I did. But you know... the lesson that day was worth 100 times what I paid for the ticket. I also saw a noted improvment in my daughter after that...
Be aware of the example YOU are setting.
Its typically a phase they soon grow out of as they learn that lying has consequences.
Likewise, reward her for telling the truth about something... especially if it was difficult for her to tell the truth... or took 3-5 times asking before she "confessed". :-)
One side note... you got to be POSITIVE she's lying. I can tell you from first hand experience that sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction... and sometimes it even goes beyond "reasonable doubt". LOL
I'd say this seems to be pretty common. I've seen it in kids, my sister went through it, I went through it, my sister-in-law when younger seemed to always be neck-deep in it, and there are a lot of articles about handling it online. I wasn't crazy about most of the articles online, but here's one I did think was pretty good: http://www.familyresource.com/parenting/behavior-issues/when-children-lie. I especially liked these points from it:
answered 24 Oct '09, 15:41