At what age should a daughter no longer take a shower with her father?

[ In theory, I imagine the question could be equally asked about sons/mothers, but somehow it seems more significant for a daughter/father. ]

Thanks in advance.

asked 22 Sep '09, 04:11

David's gravatar image

accept rate: 0%

closed 18 Feb '11, 20:21

Scott's gravatar image

Scott ♦♦

Closing this as it's been discussed to death.

(05 Feb '10, 23:00) Scott ♦♦

Discussed to death? There are only 7 answers and a total of 4 comments, none of which has been modified for weeks. Am I missing something? Personally, I would prefer that questions stay open indefinitely -- you never know when a new user will have a fresh take on it and a helpful answer -- unless the traffic has devolved into complete irrelevance or are inappropriate, which doesn't appear to have happened here. (Or is there something we can't see?)

(06 Feb '10, 07:34) lgritz

@Igritz: It keeps getting bumped by inappropriate posts that we have to delete.

(06 Feb '10, 11:58) Scott ♦♦

The question has been closed for the following reason "Seems to be a magnet for inappropriate posts." by Scott 18 Feb '11, 20:21

I would say between 4 - 5 years but I think it really depends alot on each child and their own level of awareness. Nursery or Playschool helps in that they encouraged to become more independant with regard to bathroom activities so that could guide you too.

Its about the bond and between you and your daughter and making sure that it continues once you stop taking a shower together. Combing her hair, drying her off, etc will enable you to continue the process. Hope this made sense for you !


answered 22 Sep '09, 07:05

Emi's gravatar image

accept rate: 19%


Thanks for the quick answer.

Really, as young as that? My 5yo daughter is certainly aware of the difference between boys and girls, but of course there is no clue about sexuality.

It's just that: 1. we seem to be so time constrained that doing it together is just easier. 2. she - and my 2yo son - always want to shower with us parents when either of us go in to take a shower.

Whaddya think?


(25 Sep '09, 12:00) David

How old is your daughter by the way and does she attend any type of daycare or pre-school? Time is a major factor I guess, and even though we have only one, we too are sometimes pressed for time. Our daughter turned 5 this June, and even though she showers herself, with and without our support, we found that on holiday after coming out of the sea at the end of the day she would shower with whoever was taking a shower first for practical reasons so I guess my answer would be that in your case it would make more sense to continue as you are for the time being.

(25 Sep '09, 14:31) Emi

Hi Emi, thanks. My daughter is 5 and attends pre-school; here in Thailand, they call it K-1 through K-3 before primary school, etc.

This all makes me a feel a bit better, thanks again.

(28 Sep '09, 04:51) David

It's also largely based on culture. I know some Japanese families where the daughter was still showering with her father at age 15 (this was exceptional, normally it's probably around 10 or 12). But Japan has a culture of public bathing and acceptance of nudity that in the US seems to be viewed as immoral (unfortunately).

So the short answer is, when you feel uncomfortable showering with your daughter you should probably not shower with her anymore.


answered 27 Sep '09, 23:46

Adam's gravatar image

accept rate: 100%

edited 29 Nov '09, 21:53

Tammy's gravatar image

Tammy ♦♦

Doesn't it also depend on what the child feels? I don't have experience of this (my oldest isn't 5 yet), but I imagine that at some age she will want to do things on her own, if only because she's a 'big girl', and not for any 'sexual' reasons.

To be honest, since we started bathing our two daughters together, there isn't really room for me in there anyway!


answered 07 Jan '10, 06:19

Benjol's gravatar image

accept rate: 5%

I wouldn't actually go in the shower with my daughter, I would help her bathe from outside and all that, but I wouldn't feel comfortable being in the shower with her.

I'm having a son, and I think I'll feel the same though.


answered 23 Sep '09, 13:44

JJJ's gravatar image

accept rate: 12%

My daughters (5, 5, and 4) generally shower as a group with my son (1) but on the weekends they sometimes join my wife and I if we're pressed for time or they've gotten dirty. We don't make a big deal of it and they've been doing it since they were babies.

Now that they're old enough (except the boy) I don't touch their bits--they know that no one should except themselves--and they lost interest in my parts long ago.


answered 01 Oct '09, 04:19

bbrown's gravatar image

accept rate: 21%

We have 4 children ages: 5 girl, 3 boy, 2 girl, and 6 mo boy. I have generally been the one to shower with the kids in the morning, as my wife has usually been tired from either being pregnant or nursing (God Bless her). Today we decided that the 5 year old needs to shower on her own or with mom. We dont feel there is any sexual reason. We just dont want to make that decision too late and she is fully capable of that part of the morning ritual on her own. I will continue to do all of the other "getting ready things" to keep our bonding and relational time intact. DAD


answered 29 Nov '09, 16:08

logan's gravatar image

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Asked: 22 Sep '09, 04:11

Seen: 16,468 times

Last updated: 18 Feb '11, 20:21