My daughter is almost 3 years old. We have the crib in our bed room and she sleeps sometimes in the crib, however in the middle of the night she starts crying or wakes up and stands in the crib untill we take her into our bed. Usually she also asks for milk during the night, which is why she wakes up. She also has her own room, however she doesn't really use it to play. She just plays in the living room.

My questions to you:

  • I am pretty sure that we are doing couple of things wrong here. Can you please help us to avoid these errors?
  • How do we make her to sleep in the crib and in her own room?

Update: I found this article, which seem to be very useful:

asked 16 Dec '09, 15:55

vikasde's gravatar image

accept rate: 0%

edited 10 Nov '10, 14:44

Tammy's gravatar image

Tammy ♦♦

I would take any advice from that page with a huge pinch of salt - the fact that they suggest using crying-down with an under six week old is pretty shocking. Newborn breastfed babies in particular, need to be fed probably every two to three hours, although as they get older they develop longer sleep periods at night.

Personally I've found the book No Cry Sleep Solution very helpful with sleep issues. It has a lot of suggestions, a lot of research and no rules about what you must do, so you can find a solution which works for your family and fits with your ethos.

It sounds like you have three issues:

You want her to stop waking and asking for milk
You want her to stay in her own bed
You want her to sleep in her own room

You might want to pick one at a time - although each one is going to be hard work, and may involve several nights of more waking, and more difficulty getting her back to sleep.


answered 16 Dec '09, 17:54

Meg%20Stephenson's gravatar image

Meg Stephenson
accept rate: 7%

The Cry method seems to be a bit harsh in my view as well. Does the "no cry sleep solution" exist somewhere online?

(16 Dec '09, 18:32) vikasde

@vikasde: there are some parts of it on the author's website:

(16 Dec '09, 19:01) Meg Stephenson

I'm also dubious of the fact that out of the hundred or so comments on that crying-down site there's not a single one negative one. There's always someone who hasn't had a good experience with something.

(16 Dec '09, 23:12) ceejayoz

+1 For tackling one issue at a time.

(17 Dec '09, 18:12) Emi

I think that Meg Stephenson makes some great points.

In my opinion 3 years is a rather long time to be sharing your bedroom with your child. Your child not only sleeps in your room, she is able to sleep in your bed, so this should be very disruptive for you and your partner too.

Here are my personal views and replies to your question;

  • I am pretty sure that we are doing couple of things wrong here. Can you please help us to avoid these errors?

Admitting there are errors on your part is a huge step. I think you need to solve this issue first by removing her crib from your room as soon as possible.

I think it will take a considerable amount of sleepless nights, (due to her age) because you need to physically stay with her and make sure she falls asleep in her own room. She may not give up easily and will get more and more tired, but eventually she will nod off. I suggest this as an alternative to just letting her cry it out.

Additionally I think that for a period of time (if her bed permits) she will continue to come to your bed, as it could be too traumatic for her not to. If so, then once she is asleep, just take her back to her bed.

  • How do we make her to sleep in the crib and in her own room?

Is it time to change her crib bed to a toddler bed? Choosing a bed together could motivate her enough to sleep in her own bed. ( You can choose a toddler bed that has a safety rail, so that she doesn't fall out when sleeping, but suitable for her to get in and out of.

You could start spending time in her bedroom, and encouraging her to play there and also playing there with her, so she can feel like it is her room. Talk to her about her room, ask her to choose where to put things, encourage and show her how to personalise her room, and try to ensure that your partner and yourself are acting in the same manner towards her.

Can you add an additional feed before bed time so she doesn't wake up hungry for milk, like some milk and cookies before bedtime.

I think that you need to be really patient and work with her, so that you can make the changes.

Best of Luck.


answered 17 Dec '09, 19:51

Emi's gravatar image

accept rate: 19%

edited 18 Dec '09, 00:02

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Tammy ♦♦

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Asked: 16 Dec '09, 15:55

Seen: 4,924 times

Last updated: 10 Nov '10, 14:44