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I think that often, when we find our children difficult or naughty, it's just that we haven't understood them. Sharing these situations could help us all to think twice before getting annoyed/angry (or worse).

Example: My 18 month old daughter had done a 'poo', so I set up for changing her nappy. Normally compliant, she fought back, wriggled, said no, tried to run away.

I insisted, pinned her down and changed that nappy. A few minutes later, she'd done another! I was just starting to get angry when the thinking part of my brain kicked in: it wasn't "another one", it was the same one that she hadn't been able to finish because I was in a hurry to change her, and hadn't listened.

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asked 17 Mar '10, 12:31

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edited 18 Mar '10, 03:56

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+1 for recognizing the importance of reading our children's cues.

(17 Mar '10, 13:00) cat_g

+1 Great post Benjol ... ditto to comment by cat_g.

(17 Mar '10, 15:53) Emi

I think something like that happens to me every night with my infant. I mean, who knows why he's waking up in the night? He could be teething or sick, the room could be too warm or too cold, the bed too hard, or he's just lonely. But the easiest thing to do is just nurse him right back to sleep, which I probably rely on way too much. I hope things get less nerve-wracking once he can tell me what's going on.

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answered 17 Mar '10, 16:48

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Same daughter, a bit older, fiddling with the socket cover in the study: alt text

When I told her to stop, she just carried on. So I got cross and told her off, and physically removed her from her explorations.

A while later, I walked into the sitting room/lounge, and noticed that the socket cover there was missing... And realised that she'd probably been trying to fix that.

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answered 18 Mar '10, 13:00

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Well, this has happened to me more times than I can even begin to count.
I'm trying to think of an example, but what I mostly remember from when my older ones were small was the aftermath of sitting on the floor with a sniffling little boy in my lap while I apologized for losing my temper, being a jerk and not listening in the first place. I can still here those plaintitive cries of "But, Mooommmmaa, I was only trying to...", after someone had been read the riot act.
Sigh, must try harder.

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answered 17 Mar '10, 14:52

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The effects of "Children should be seen and not heard" echo down the decades...

(18 Mar '10, 06:22) Benjol

Yeah, partly that, but more "I'm trying to do a dozen things at once because we have to be at school-soccer-scouts-whatever in 45 minutes and I have to feed you and your brother supper first and you don't know where your costume-shinguards-uniform-whatever is so I have to look for that too, what the heck are you bugging me about!" Usually if I'd just stopped to listen for 30 seconds it would have taken a lot less time than the fight, hurt feelings and making-up afterwards did. (With the bonus of me not feeling like a jerk!)

(18 Mar '10, 16:55) Neen
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Asked: 17 Mar '10, 12:31

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Last updated: 18 Mar '10, 13:00