What's the best response to possessiveness in my 2.5 year old? He's very friendly with other children but he doesn't like it when they play with his toys. Sometimes it leads to fights!

We usually step in and try to defuse the situation before it gets out of hand but I'm wondering if there are any techniques that I could employ which would help him understand that it's ok to share?

asked 19 May '10, 22:59

DaveDev's gravatar image

accept rate: 0%

I am not sure if any two year olds understand the concept of sharing. My 4 year can do it most of the time.

A few things we have tried:

  • talk about sharing and keep talking about it. Some days I feel like I am continuing saying "share".
  • demostrate how to share e.g lets share out the sandwiches or food
  • When my son was two we would put away his precious toys if we had a group of kids around
  • I have built several train tracks so the kids can play along side each other.
  • A timer is good for teaching sharing and taking turns. e.g One child has the toy for 3 minutes and then next child. or with something like a swing let child 1 have ten swings and then child 2 can have ten swings.
  • play games with your kids where you share or take turns. Eg doing a jigsaw take turns putting the pieces in.
  • We have had a few good books out the library about sharing but I can't remember their titles at present.

Here are a few articles I found about sharing and two year olds: One and Two

EDIT:Also meant to add that a lot of the time when it is between my kids I leave them to sort it out between themselves.


answered 20 May '10, 01:36

K%20D's gravatar image

accept rate: 13%

edited 20 May '10, 10:10

Since saying my four year does it most of the time, this afternoon he did not want to share his toys with anyone.

(20 May '10, 10:11) K D

When there is a need for sharing with my 2 & 3 year old (and I have time) I usually stand right there and mediate the turn taking. I try to switch the toy as soon as possible from one person to the next at first and then let each child take a longer turn. I think it helps them realize they WILL indeed get the toy back. Most of the time it's an annoying process for everyone involved and one of them quickly decides it's more fun to just go play with another toy. :)


answered 20 May '10, 01:42

Sabrina's gravatar image

accept rate: 21%

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Asked: 19 May '10, 22:59

Seen: 4,839 times

Last updated: 20 May '10, 10:10