I would like to get some factors which are to considered seriously when adopting a baby from an orphanage... It would be really helpful for parents who are in the process of baby adoption... Any suggestion...

asked 06 Jul '10, 10:01

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Pandiya Chendur
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Good question, but a bit broad - are you thinking of international adoption?

(08 Jul '10, 06:06) Benjol

@Benjol ya i am looking for it..

(08 Jul '10, 07:51) Pandiya Chendur

Disclaimer - I have never adopted any children. And I don't have time right now to back up all I'm going to say with references, so most of this is what I've heard or seen with adopters or adoptees.

Concerning the actual technicalities - the administrative process: depending on the country and agencies involved it can be a very slow (unless you are a pop star!), uncertain and frustrating process - especially if you have added language and/or culture barriers. I think it would be absolutely essential to try and find other adoptive parents from your prospective country and learn as much as you can about their experiences, any pitfalls to be avoided. You also want to be absolutely certain that you are dealing with bona-fide adoption/government agencies at both ends, and that you are operating entirely within the law.

Concerning yourselves - you need to be clear about your motives. I guess you've heard the story about the seven-year-old russian boy who was sent back home on his own on a plane after a 'failed' adoption? The knee-jerk reaction of "shock, horror, how awful" is missing the point - an adopted child is NOT the same as a natural child, things can be very hard going, and very often you will be on your own (read this). That doesn't mean it's second best, it's just different, and you need some heavy introspection about what you're doing this for - is it just for you, or also for the baby? I'm not a psychologist, and I think that a quick google search should give you some more pointers on this. And again, get into contact with other adoptive parents.

Concerning the future - be prepared for some surprises. Adoptive children don't all turn out eternally grateful to their adoptive parents. I've read some surprisingly vitriolic stuff on some blogs (terminology tip: some refer to their nparents - nmother, nfather, and their aparents - afather, amother). Even for the ones who turn out 'ok', the teenage years - when all kids are searching for their identity - can be particularly difficult. There'll want to go looking for their 'roots'. So if you've adopted them from the other side of the world, start saving for plane tickets now! I have friends who are in Ethiopia right now with their adopted daughter who is pre-teen - they went together as a family to visit the orphanage, amongst other things. I think that's wonderful.

Conclusion - there's a lot to think about, but the web is a mine of information, and again: your best bet is getting in contact with adoptive parents, and/or adoptive parents associations.

link

answered 09 Jul '10, 06:13

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Benjol
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Asked: 06 Jul '10, 10:01

Seen: 2,270 times

Last updated: 09 Jul '10, 06:13