My 9 year-old daughter was caught kissing another girl. They both said it was a game and stated they knew it was wrong... I am unsure how to handle the situation. Is is uncommon for kids to do this?

asked 14 Jul '10, 17:26

Mom's gravatar image

accept rate: 0%

edited 14 Jul '10, 18:50

Chris%20W.%20Rea's gravatar image

Chris W. Rea

It's very common. I'm told by women I know that most girls do this at some point. It seems much less common for boys, and probably fewer of them will admit it.

Why is it "wrong"?

I mean, sure, you don't want them to get carried away. But if they are approximately the same age, and their clothes were on, and you don't think either party coerced the other, and they're not engaging in activities so advanced that they are vastly ill-equipped to deal with it emotionally, IMHO there's no good that can come from making them feel bad about being curious about what it's like to kiss somebody.

Although the title is "how to answer questions about sexuality," your question itself did not mention that your daughter asked you any questions about sexuality. Did she? If so, what? If not, did you ask her if she had any questions? Try to find a safe way to turn it into a helpful discussion for her rather than shame at being caught in her curiosity.


answered 14 Jul '10, 19:14

lgritz's gravatar image

accept rate: 14%

edited 15 Jul '10, 22:53

+1 for not making a big deal with innocent exploration

(15 Jul '10, 14:31) Lin

+1. our first encounter with an issue of this sort was when our middle son exchanged underware with a girl from next door. both were about 5 at the time. the mum of the girl was embarrassed when she asked if Andrew had Billy's knickers.

(15 Jul '10, 18:59) pipthegeek

I don't think it is very common I do agree not to make a huge deal out of it but I do think ( or at least I would) something need to be said to the kids about not doing that and that they are to young to do something like that. Then kinda of drop it with her , but be aware of what she sees and does but if you make a huge thing about it she will really wonder what is the big deal and maybe try more. That is totally just my opinion.


answered 15 Jul '10, 02:28

Mary's gravatar image

accept rate: 10%


+1 for saying your piece and then being done with it, not making a bigger deal than it is. But I think it's extremely common for kids in the 9-10 range to start getting curious enough to try kissing a friend (in a relatively non-sexual way). Ask around, I think you'll be surprised!

(15 Jul '10, 22:27) lgritz
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Asked: 14 Jul '10, 17:26

Seen: 2,856 times

Last updated: 15 Jul '10, 22:53