Since the majority of us are parents, what did you discover after becoming a parent that you wish you knew before becoming a parent?

This question is marked "community wiki".

asked 06 Aug '10, 02:30

Scott's gravatar image

Scott ♦♦
accept rate: 10%

edited 17 Apr '11, 22:10

Tammy's gravatar image

Tammy ♦♦


I really like this question. Although all the answers seem to be along the same theme: "Trust yourself!" I wonder why we're all so insecure about our parenting.

(06 Aug '10, 19:40) Anne

I think because it's just so damn important, Anne. You know that saying about how "100 years from now nobody will remember the kind of car you drove, but your great-grandchildren will show the kind of parent you were." That's why. Scary Sh*t.

(10 Aug '10, 07:23) Neen

I wish I knew not to worry so much early on about how much and how often my baby was eating and sleeping when the truth is that she would eat and sleep as much as she needed to.

I also wish that I didn't take so long to go out with her. I worried so much about whether she would cry/fuss, need to be fed, or sleep enough while we were out it kept me from leaving the house for very often or very long for the first three months. The result was feeling isolated and alone. Now I realize that those first three months it would of been easiest to have her with me while I was shopping or out catching up with friends.

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 06 Aug '10, 17:44

Tammy's gravatar image

Tammy ♦♦
accept rate: 18%

God yes. I was constantly worrying that he wasn't getting enough sleep. I was worried sick!!

(06 Aug '10, 19:39) Anne

That the parent is the ultimate authority.

With your first child, you spend so much time and energy running around trying to find an 'authority' to tell you what to do, or to reassure you that you are doing the right thing. It's kind of normal, but at some point you just have to let get and decide for yourself.

Neen kind of summed it up in this wonderful post:

And if anybody questions why you're not training her anymore you can say "Some woman in Winnipeg who's the grand-high-poohba of poopy gave us permission to stop", that should confuse them enough that they change the subject.

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 06 Aug '10, 05:41

Benjol's gravatar image

accept rate: 5%

Yes. Along those lines, trust your gut.

(06 Aug '10, 14:08) Anne

I wish I had realized quicker how important bonding is. I tend to focus more on quantifiable things like making sure my son has the best nutrition because I'm not as good at the emotional stuff. As a result, I made some trade-offs in his first couple of months that I now regret. The good news is it's never too late to work on building a better relationship with your child :)

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 06 Aug '10, 04:37

Kiesa's gravatar image

Kiesa ♦
accept rate: 26%

I wish I'd known that I was going to screw up and make mistakes, that it was actually inevitable, and that it was okay, and that the only one who wouldn't forgive me for my mistakes was myself. Maybe I wouldn't have worried so much about being perfect and getting everything-exactly-right, and enjoyed myself more.

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 06 Aug '10, 18:17

Neen's gravatar image

accept rate: 30%


+1 "the only one who wouldn't forgive me for my mistakes was myself". I used to beat myself up so bad for the stupidest little things, like forgetting to change the baby before nursing him to sleep.

(06 Aug '10, 19:39) Anne

I wish I had had more faith in myself. I lacked confidence and felt incompetant. After I became a parent I realised that no one is born with parenting knowledge or skills..its something you learn and share continuously....

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 06 Aug '10, 21:49

Emi's gravatar image

accept rate: 19%

I wish I had known that each child needs to be treated in a way that is appropriate for that child. Parenting is NOT one size fits all.

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 11 Aug '10, 17:08

Millerboston's gravatar image

accept rate: 0%

I wish someone had told me to throw out, or better yet, burn, all the "parenting" books. Each one had a different authoriative-sounding answer that convinced me I was doing a horrible job as a parent. Eventually I figured out it's like the bible: somewhere I could find a book that agrees with what I am doing.

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 06 Aug '10, 14:10

Anne's gravatar image

accept rate: 17%

I wish this site had existed.

Over the course of three kids our strictness has varied. I think we now have an okay balance. We were too strict with our first and I think it has dented his self confidence. Although on the plus side he is very seldom properly naughty and we can trust him to do as he is told.

Of course teenage years might show something different. Not looking forward to that.

I think I would have liked to know to be a little less strict, but then we would have made different mistakes I'm sure. Maybe worse ones.

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 07 Aug '10, 09:47

pipthegeek's gravatar image

accept rate: 0%

This is a great video that asked moms that very same question. I watch this often :)


answered 19 Apr '11, 10:21

DazedandConfused's gravatar image

accept rate: 13%

All of Heloise's stain and odor removal tips.


answered 18 Apr '11, 10:13

mkcoehoorn's gravatar image

accept rate: 8%

Your answer
toggle preview

Follow this question

By Email:

Once you sign in you will be able to subscribe for any updates here



Answers and Comments

Markdown Basics

  • *italic* or _italic_
  • **bold** or __bold__
  • link:[text](http://url.com/ "Title")
  • image?![alt text](/path/img.jpg "Title")
  • numbered list: 1. Foo 2. Bar
  • to add a line break simply add two spaces to where you would like the new line to be.
  • basic HTML tags are also supported



Asked: 06 Aug '10, 02:30

Seen: 6,080 times

Last updated: 03 Mar '12, 14:11