I would like to learn whether parents with multiple children think or feel that parenting gets easier or more enjoyable after the first child. Is it really the case that due to being more experienced you are more relaxed and therefore liable to enjoy the process of becoming a parent of a newborn again, (particularly the first few months) more a second time around?

asked 03 Sep '10, 19:47

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Emi
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Great question, thanks. I've been wondering the same thing -- hoping it gets a little easier or at least less terrifying!

(07 Sep '10, 13:17) Anne

@Anne, We only have the one child, and I always amazed at how much more relaxed parents of multiple children seem to look, they do make everything look incredibly easy!

(07 Sep '10, 14:11) Emi

Physically, no. It's still exhausting and bloody hard work. Plus, you have another older child (or children) who need your time and attention too.

Emotionally, yeah, wayyy easier and a lot more fun. (Unless you suffer from PPD) You know that you will eventually get a good nights sleep again, that all those weird baby things they do probably fall within "normal", and you have a bag of tricks to use when things get rough. There is far less panic involved with second and subsequent babies which makes just noticing the joy involved a lot easier.

Intellectually, you've already made that tough transition from only being responsible for yourself to being responsible for a tiny person who is completely dependent on you, in other words, you're already a parent and you fortunately don't have to go through that adjustment again.

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answered 03 Sep '10, 22:17

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You've certainly capture our thoughts on the subject. This seems like common sentiment among second-parents. We're a lot less stressed about the second (incoming) one. :)

(03 Sep '10, 23:53) Scott ♦♦

Neen, great answer..thank you! So indeed it does get easier and more enjoyable and the "hard work" will still be hard work.

(07 Sep '10, 14:16) Emi

We have friends who say that after the second, you don't even notice the difference, but we never got that far!

Pretty much what Neen said, it's still work, but you know the ropes and you don't spend your time asking yourselves all the questions you did with number one.

Having said that, you often need a new instruction manual for each child, as 'seconds' are often very different in character to firsts (hum, idea for a question).

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answered 07 Sep '10, 05:44

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Benjol
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+1 @Benjol, every kid is different, my oldest had colic when he was very small, so my other three were "easy" babies in comparison. (Even my daughter, who was pretty fussy and probably would have driven a first time Parent craaazzy!) I would guess that someone who had an "easy" baby first would have a much tougher time if they then got a baby who had a demanding personality.

(07 Sep '10, 15:20) Neen

After having my fourth, I'd say yes it gets a lot easier. ESPECIALLY emotionally and mentally. We're considering a fifth now, we're just weighing out the finances.

After the first, and a little the second depending on sex, you start to see things differently. You know what to expect to an extent, and you know remedies to what are now common problems.

The only thing you'll never get rid of it seems, is doctors, and such treating you like a first time mom/dad regardless of the fact that you KNOW it's a ear infection. :)

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answered 27 Sep '10, 23:30

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edited 27 Sep '10, 23:44

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Asked: 03 Sep '10, 19:47

Seen: 1,915 times

Last updated: 27 Sep '10, 23:44