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Hello everyone,

This is my situation.

My son is now 10 weeks old and HATES sleeping in his crib. We have found about 2-3 weeks ago that he LOVES sleeping in his swing. Our big worry with the swing is that it will screw up his back and sleeping habits for a long time to come (especially when he outgrows it).

So for the past 2 nights we've consoled him by rocking him until he fell asleep and then put him in his crib. After maybe 1 hour or so, he would realize that he was in his crib and start crying at the top of his lungs. At this point, we would feel bad about it and take him into our bed, which I know is not suggested either but both my wife and I HATE hearing him cry as we feel terrible about it.

I've talked to friends and this is what they've recommended. I am really looking for any other advise to be able to transition him sooner than later to his crib full time.

What friends and family have told me:

1-Let him cry. My brother told me he let his daughter at 10 weeks cry for 45 minutes at a time in the crib before she would go back to bed. (Our concern is that he will feel abandoned if we don't go tend of him.)

2-Rock him and then put your hand on him in his crib so he feels you are there with him until he falls asleep.

So in conclusion, for the past 2 days we've been letting him sleep maybe 1-2 hours in the crib and then the rest of the night in our bed.....

Any ideas would be GREATLY appreciated!

Thanks Concerned Dad

asked 05 Oct '10, 15:54

Ben%201's gravatar image

Ben 1
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edited 05 Oct '10, 17:54

Tammy's gravatar image

Tammy ♦♦
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This (especially "HELP PLEASE!") makes me think of me when my baby was an infant. If I've learned anything, it's that these things matter less in the long run than you think at the time. Lots of things will change before he outgrows the swing. Try not to worry too much, if you can.

(05 Oct '10, 19:12) Anne
1

Good luck concerned Dad, Anne makes a great point. I wonder if these answers from an earlier question could be helpful to you as well. http://moms4mom.com/questions/4301/any-tips-for-successfully-putting-a-child-in-the-crib-after-falling-asleep-on-you

(06 Oct '10, 10:25) Emi

"Not suggested" by who? (see Neen's answer)

(07 Oct '10, 05:17) Benjol

Thanks! I really appreciate it and we are trying everything now :)

(12 Oct '10, 13:24) Ben 1

Here are a few things that I suggest from my own experience.

Have you tried having him sleep in a bassinette (depending on his size, if I recall ours went to 15 lbs), something that is smaller then the crib? Our daughter would not nap or sleep in her crib until she was several months old. First she slept solely in her bassinette (first in our room, then just outside the door) then eventually I tried a few naps in the crib with night time in the bassinette until we made the full transition.

Swaddling? Our daughter would not sleep well (or remain sleeping) unless she was swaddled. We swaddled her for at least five months. Once she fell asleep through rocking/nursing we would swaddle her to give her that comfort feeling and she slept better. This also prevented her from waking herself up by involuntarily hitting herself in the head. Eventually we transitioned to swaddling her when she was sleepy but not fully asleep but that wasn't until 4-5 months I believe.

White noise? This didn't particularly work for our daughter (it would sooth her if she was crying uncontrolably sometimes though) but I know of other parents where there baby slept much better with a white noise machine.

Elevating the crib mattress? From my experience and what I've been told by other parents and nurses is that sometimes a baby can get congested and subsequently wake themselves up when lying flat (especially if they are sick, or in the first few weeks when they are still expelling extra mucus). You can put something under the crib mattress to elevate it so they are not lying flat. This could be one of the reasons he prefers to sleep in his swing?

As for crying it out.. there are a lot of opinions on the matter -here's another question on the topic http://moms4mom.com/questions/2695/should-i-let-my-baby-cry-it-out .

I was told by our public health nurse (another parent was asking during a group we had for new mothers) that this should not be attempted until the baby is at least 6 months old and you are certain that they are not waking up because they are hungry (or need you to meet some other important need e.g. wet, cold, sick etc...). However, I also know of several sources that would say differently.

link

answered 05 Oct '10, 17:47

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edited 12 Oct '10, 21:18

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+1 - I'd try swaddling too.

(05 Oct '10, 20:55) Kate

Funny, swaddling does not seem to be neither common nor recommended by nurses here (Austria)

(06 Oct '10, 11:30) brandstaetter

@brandstaetter in Canada we were taught swaddling in prenatal class and the nurses swaddled our baby from the moment she was born and the entire time she was in the hospital

(06 Oct '10, 11:44) Tammy ♦♦

Yeah, I know. It was "en vogue" here too, but it seems it changed in the recent years. I don't know why, and I don't want to imply that swaddling might be not optimal in any way.

(07 Oct '10, 09:06) brandstaetter

@brandstaetter, I'm not saying it's optimal I'm saying that it's something to try if you haven't already. From my experience talking to other parents some babies love/need it and others hate it or don't need it.

(07 Oct '10, 11:33) Tammy ♦♦

Thanks! I really appreciate it and we are trying everything now :)

(12 Oct '10, 13:24) Ben 1
showing 5 of 6 show 1 more comments

First, don't worry about your little guy napping in the swing, all of my 4 kids did that when they were his age. We actually called the swing "Nirvana" for my younger two (not the band, the perfect state of peace of mind in Buddism), perhaps a bit sacreligious, but my then 14 year old sure thought his baby sister looked like she'd achieved it and called it that and it stuck. Babies are really rubbery, he's not going to wake up with a sore neck or back and he'll outgrow it as soon as he's a little more mobile and get's tired of his swing. (Almost certainly before you figure out another way to get him to nap!)

So, baby naps in his swing, YEAH! Baby's napping!

Second, moving your wee man back into his crib, umm, why? Are you and your wife really uncomfortable with him sleeping with you? If you are, then Tammy's ideas are really great.

If you actually kinda enjoy him being there and you're getting more sleep this way google co-sleeping and read up on how to share sleep safely with your babe or check out The Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Lab's site.

Hope you get some sleep soon, and Anne's right, in the long run, it will all work out just fine, one day next summer you'll look at a zonked out toddler and wonder why you were so worried. :)

(Of course then you'll be worried about exactly how much dirt a toddler can eat and still want his supper, but chances are he'll be sleeping a lot better!)

link

answered 06 Oct '10, 07:36

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Neen
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+1 for "YEAH! Baby's napping!" I was dead set against co-sleeping, but now we have two very good sleepers who never complain about going to bed.

(07 Oct '10, 05:19) Benjol

Thanks! I really appreciate it and we are trying everything now :)

(12 Oct '10, 13:24) Ben 1

+1 for quoting McKenna!

(06 Jan '11, 13:04) Lin

All three of our kids went through a phase where they would only sleep in their high chair. (It was a fancy reclining one). It started by accident with our first, I think while he had a cold he prefered to be a little more upright. He also liked watching The Jungle Book. So much that he wore the tape out! He spent AGES sleeping only in his high chair. When we did get him back in his cot he would only go to sleep with the TV on (moved on to Toy Story now) and with one of us holding his bottle. Our second and third spent less time insisting on sleeping in the high chair but we never really forced the issue, if we put them down and they objected then they would come back to the high chair.

So, I think my advice is to do what ever your baby wants. It may take a while to get your baby back into their cot but it will happen eventually.

One thing that is common to all three of mine is that none of them mind going to bed. The middle one still asks to go to bed when he is tired.

link

answered 05 Oct '10, 18:28

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pipthegeek
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Thanks! I really appreciate it and we are trying everything now :)

(12 Oct '10, 13:25) Ben 1

Good luck. Our breakthrough was really The Jungle Book. It didn't matter how upset he was, put Jungle Book on and he would watch it and normally fall asleep. Tried putting a different video on once, it didn't work. Put Jungle Book and he was silent, even when it was just showing copyright notices. :)

(13 Oct '10, 20:26) pipthegeek

I don't have a personal answer but have found the advice (both in the article and in the large number of reader comments) on askmoxie.org very helpful

(specifically, http://www.askmoxie.org/2007/01/qa_newborn_who_.html entitled "Q&A: newborn who will only sleep in the swing")

Best of luck to you!

link

answered 06 Oct '10, 11:50

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Melanie
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Thanks for the great link. Considering the possibility of reflux is a good point!

(06 Oct '10, 21:53) Tammy ♦♦

Thanks! I really appreciate it and we are trying everything now :)

(12 Oct '10, 13:25) Ben 1

I know one thing we did is that when our daughter got too big for the bassinette, we had her crib next to our bed so she was close at night. Something that helped with this is the fact that we had a crib that is supposed to "grow with your child." One of it's configurations is just the crib with the front off. They called it a "day bed." I put it right up next to our bed so there was no space between the bed and the crib, and we each had our own space, but she was within arms reach if she needed reassurance. When she started rolling around and rolled on to the bed, we put the side of the crib back on and moved her to her own room. She had no issues moving at that point. I think she was about 7 or 8 months when we moved her.

This is the crib we have: http://www.babycribsplus.com/DaVinci-M2401Q-DV1641.html

link

answered 08 Oct '10, 00:44

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Jennifer Ayers
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Asked: 05 Oct '10, 15:54

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Last updated: 12 Oct '10, 21:18