We will have the second baby within 5 months, we now have a girl who is 1 and half years old. I want your suggestions about how to not let my wife get bored, and let her feel that she is doing something good beside caring for the baby the first 6 months of his life.

Some info about my wife may help:'note that I am ready to buy or get anything to make that happen'

She is working from home, a webdesigner "not professional", has a couple of websites for flash games and other cool stuff and manages them through CMSs such as joomla. She likes reading too much, likes her laptop as well, likes to learn new things and feel valuable in life. She was in faculty of Science, and really very smart.

Please send your suggestions.

Things I thought about: buy her an ipad, kindle or something like this, but I'm not sure if it will help or not. When I asked her about these things she didn't get impressed.

asked 21 Oct '10, 16:27

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Amr
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edited 23 Oct '10, 20:28

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Tammy ♦♦
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I don't know your wife but seeing as I'm in a similar position (our second baby is due in two months) I'm not sure I would consider having a toddler and a newborn boring. During the first six months of my daughter's life I would say that I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and admittedly emotional. However, I accept that everyone is different. Has she expressed to you that she feels she will be bored?

Things I did and will do again to prevent feeling isolated was to join baby groups. Our local library had a number of free programs for parents of babies, books for babies, baby time, baby sign language, baby massage. There was also a free group called Just Beginnings put on by our local health unit were news moms meet together with a public health nurses for 4 sessions to discuss the challenges and changes associated with being a parent. We were then encouraged to meet regularly and made a point to meet once a week. These types of experiences and bonding with other moms made a huge difference in my mood, and confidence as a new parent.

I also found that at times I felt like I needed intellectual stimulation, which may be what you are asking about for your wife? When I wasn't exhausted I would read books, or articles on the internet and I also made a point to meet up with some colleagues in the community. This helped me stay connected to my professional life and also gave me an opportunity to get out of the house and have some important "me" time.

I am not certain if these are the types of suggestions you are looking for but hopefully they are helpful.

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answered 21 Oct '10, 20:15

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Tammy ♦♦
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1

sure helpful, thanks for sharing real experience.

(21 Oct '10, 21:46) Amr

+1 - my kids are 21 months apart, so I'll second Tammy's sentiment that it's not boring ;)

(23 Oct '10, 03:08) Kate

Is your wife currently bored (assuming she is looking after your daughter full-time right now)?

I was in basically the same situation as your wife (especially the very smart part ;). When my oldest was a newborn, there was a lot of downtime and I could see how it could become routine or boring; however... fast forward to baby #2 and my daughter was an almost 2 year old who was used to being the centre of attention. She was beginning to talk, express her independence (ahem) and turning into a real little person - basically a lot more fun (most of the time).

The arrival of her brother made for a very hectic few months. My daughter didn't care that I was running on little sleep and we tried to stick to established routines as much as possible for her sake, so there wasn't a lot of downtime the second time around.

But, if you're looking for ideas, I would recommend giving her personal time to do whatever she wanted. With 2, you don't get any time for yourself unless you're lucky enough to get them napping at the same time and even then, that's only a couple of hours a day and it is really easy to spend/waste that time doing housework, paid work or answering emails - not exactly a nice way to recharge the soul.

Best wishes - two is double the fun!

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answered 23 Oct '10, 03:35

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Kate
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+1, Thanks for the cute answer, Your answer was like seeing the future for me :).

(23 Oct '10, 05:19) Amr
1

+1 @Kate, I agree completely, I'd suggest getting a maid service, or someone to deliver supper a couple of times a week. That way, she can do the things she loves when she finds a few minutes to herself, and not be worried that her feet are sticking to the floor or trying to remember what's in the freezer that she can defrost in time to make for supper.

(23 Oct '10, 07:11) Neen
1

+1 for giving her personal time

(23 Oct '10, 13:44) Tammy ♦♦
1

@Neen I think the idea of a maid service is a good idea. However, make sure they can come at a specific time. I had house cleaners come for the first 3 months and I found it very hectic to try to figure out when I needed to be up and dressed by.

(24 Oct '10, 21:03) Kiesa ♦

Oh, you are sooo right Kiesa, having them show up at random times would really detract from the advantage of having someone else clean the floor!

(29 Oct '10, 14:09) Neen

When my second was about to be born/newborn, I really enjoyed my Netflix account. And now you can stream it through a Wii without needing a special disc. But that way I was able to watch new movies on a regular basis without having to go to the effort of taking the newborn and his older sister out in the cold and then driving for half an hour to find something. (I should mention that at that time we live 20 to 30 minutes from a sizable town, and that winter we had record highs of -24. There were days when taking the kids out was not an option.)

I also had a lot of insomnia for the last couple months so I did a lot of reading when I was up in the middle of the night. If I were to go through it again, I would probably enjoy a Kindle loaded with my favorite books and an Amazon gift certificate to get any new releases that I've been looking forward to. (Actually, I've been thinking about getting a Kindle anyway.)

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answered 22 Oct '10, 01:34

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mkcoehoorn
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I love the Kindle! I guess I can let Tammy borrow it when our second comes along... ;)

(24 Oct '10, 18:17) Scott ♦♦

Since I've read more than 250 books in the last 3.5 years, the Kindle is looking more and more appealing as an alternative method of keeping my personal library manageable.

(24 Oct '10, 21:20) mkcoehoorn
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Asked: 21 Oct '10, 16:27

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Last updated: 23 Oct '10, 20:28