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Do you think its ok to name your child the same as a friend has named theirs? Is it in bad taste? I like the name a friend of ours chose but she lives on the other side of the world. If the kids ever do meet, it would be rare. My hubby thinks its out of the question and I am not so sure.

asked 04 Oct '09, 03:10

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edited 10 Oct '09, 06:57

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I don't think you should have to make decisions about what to name your kids based on what other people name their kids. I think what you name your children is something very special and to consider what friends are naming their kids seems a little short sighted. You have no idea how long you will be friends with somebody and your kid will have to live with their name for a lifetime.

My wife's parents went through this type of a situation when they had her. They ended up sticking with the original name they wanted despite the fact that their friends had named their child the same. Not only did it not matter in the context of that friendship, but now 30 years later it seems crazy to think that they would have changed the name of their child based on people they barely see or talk to anymore.

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answered 04 Oct '09, 05:06

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Luke Foust
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That happened to us - about 6 weeks before my youngest was born, we got a birth announcement from a distant friend who had named their daughter what we intended to name ours. They didn't know we had chosen that name, it was total coincidence. Similar situation - they live on the other side of the country, so it's not like the kids would ever see each other. At the end of the day, I didn't feel comfortable using the name because I didn't want them to feel like we had "stolen" their name. Because I think in a similar situation, I would be a little miffed, if someone did that to me. As a result, we kept searching for a name and ended up with one that's better in every way than our original choice. I have never regretted giving her the name she has today.

This is NOT to say that you are wrong to use the name you want. It's one of the more personal decisions you can make, and only you know your relationship with your friend, and how this would affect that relationship, if at all. Good luck!

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answered 04 Oct '09, 03:26

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erin
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Please tell us the names! =)

(05 Oct '09, 12:37) JJJ

Naming a child has a lot of considerations, but we deliberately tried not to name our daughter based on our friends' choices for their kids. That doesn't mean we were right and other people were wrong.

The rules of thumb we used were:

1) Tried desperately not to give her a name where she would be teased badly 2) Tried desperately to find a name that wouldn't be mispronounced all the time 3) Tried to find a name that would let her be remembered for her accomplishments rather than how unusual her name was

I guess the trick is to decide what's important. Who else is to judge what's important?

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answered 04 Oct '09, 05:41

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My sister-in-law named her daughter the same name MY daughter has. It's been eight years, and I'm STILL mad. I won't tell her though, but I seethe inside. Don't do it if it's a close friend.

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answered 19 Oct '09, 03:37

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I hate to tell you this, but you just posted it on the internet. She'll find out. :-)

(19 Oct '09, 15:33) Graeme

Good! It's about time I get it off my chest :-)

(19 Oct '09, 20:07) YMCbuzz

Just make sure you can still register their domain name: JohnSmith.com or JaneDoe.com They will be the coolest kids when they are older and have the domain name that matches their name. I did it for my niece and nephew, a gift they will get in 16 years or so!

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answered 05 Oct '09, 18:38

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You've just gotta hope that .com domain names (or even domain names at all) are as meaningful in 16 years time as they are now. ;-)

(09 Oct '09, 21:11) teedyay

Go for it! Who cares if they think you stole it! The friend might feel honored that you used the same name! Could you maybe switch the spelling? In 10 years you wouldn't even think about your kid having the same name as a friends.

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answered 04 Oct '09, 10:06

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Mommy trial and error
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I say just do it. After cranking yours and your spouse brains for the past 9 months to come up with a name only to give it up after someones has it sooner than you is no fun. What you have thought for a name for your child will be meaningful in a different way from others even though they spell the same.

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answered 05 Oct '09, 15:02

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I would have to agree with Luke although I could see how it could be a little weird around the friend for a little while, but hopefully they would get over it. I have known a few different people who stuck with the name they wanted even if their friend's child was named the same thing and they are still friends!

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answered 04 Oct '09, 06:13

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Melissa 1
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I wouldn't care if the two kids won't be living near each other. But I would actually give it some extra thought if the chances are very high that your friend's kid and your own kid would become close. The reason is that they will inevitably be called another name than what you intended. You might think you named your kid "Erin", but instead you really named your kid "Small Erin", or "Young Erin", or "Erin 2", or something similar.

Then again, if you really like the name, I still wouldn't care, because naming is hard...

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answered 05 Oct '09, 22:54

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edited 19 Nov '09, 03:51

Totally go for it! They'll probably meet more people with the same name before they're old enough to care anyway.

Some friends of mine even managed to double up with themselves: they had two girls' names that they loved, so when their first child was a girl, they gave her both of them: one as a first name and one as a middle name. When their second child turned out also to be a girl, they gave her her older sister's middle name as a first name, just because they liked it so much!

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answered 09 Oct '09, 21:14

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Amongst myself and my eleven siblings we have a Katherine Michelle, an Alex Michael, and a Michael Anthony. When my youngest sister was born, my grandpa tried to suggest Michelle as a first name, but Mom and Dad figured it was worn out.

(19 Nov '09, 10:34) Artemis
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Asked: 04 Oct '09, 03:10

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Last updated: 19 Nov '09, 03:51